S if For Sinner or is it for Saint?

It's difficult to determine who wins in the end...the sinner or the saint?
I question whether the sinner really does have more fun?
Quite possibly on the surface they do, but what lies beneath? 
What lurks in their inner soul?
Are they filled with stress and dismay?
Do they realize the ramifications of their own actions? 
Or......do they simply go about their day to day knowing that in the end they will be forgiven?

So often people sin with the thought that in the end their God will forgive them. It is, after-all, what we have to believe because if we didn't none of us would be going to heaven. Right? There couldn't be a higher power unless we believed some sort of version of this.

What's come to my attention as of lately is that when a person tries to do the saintly thing, or at least what you'd think a saint would do, that somehow the sinner can still prevail. 
Where is the God in that?
And why can't the sinner come to grips with the saint?
To have a mutual understanding if you may.....a sort of truce?
To move forward leaving past anger and hurts behind?

Is it possible that the sinner has so convinced themselves that the saint is to blame?
That the sinners are really the saints and the saints are the sinners?
Reversing the roles in their minds in order to avoid their shame or to get past the thought that their God might not accept their actions or words?
If this is true, then no one can move forward....grow.
No one can forgive.
It's sad really.   

I have always lived in the me. In the now. And sometimes even in the past.
I've been a friend to many.
I've been an enemy to some.
Yet still I share a last name with someone who no longer represents me and who quite possibly never did.
But it is after-all, only a name or a word to which I parted from long ago.
And so I've come to think of myself over the years only by my first name; separating myself from my last.
Steffanie.
Strong.
Sturdy.
Sure.
Social.
Simple......and so much more.
All words that begin with S. 
Self confident..

Then in June of 2009, S was no longer about me...Steffanie.
It was, in essence, a new beginning if you will; a passage into another life.
A place you don't realize exists until it's door opens...and there you are peeking in and longing to see more.
To explore.
You see, my granddaughter, Stevie, was born.
And suddenly S was for Stevie.
Not just her name, but in her every being.
Special
Sweet
Splendid
She was Smashing and I knew she'd be Smart.
She wouldn't be a representative of her last name, but only her first.
The S will represent her as it had me, but she will come to define it herself.
Already she has.

And what would become of me?
Quite simply, I will now be defined with an N.
Nana.
I like it.
It's simple, just like the S.
With it I will learn new things.
To be Nimble again.
To say No less.
I'll Notice more and take Note more often.
I'll Nourish this little girl who now carries the S.
Sometimes the S will be light and sometimes it'll be heavy.
But as my Grandmother helped my Mother
As my Mother helped me
As I helped my daughter
Stevie will have support for her S.
I know she'll be strong.
Stable and Sure.

Nothing will Stop her.
And me, now the representative of the N, can't wait to watch the Success of the S.
Stevie.